June 12th & 13th "The Real India"- Touring Secunderabad and Saying Good-Bye to Family

June 12th,

It reminds me of Slumdog Millionaire when Uday decides to give me a tour of where he hung out as a child, in his city called Secunderabad, as we casually watch people walking on the tracks before crossing the railroad ourselves to get to the other side. Although it happens in America as well, now that I have seen a good part of India, I am not shocked about kids hanging out around the railroad tracks in India, as I am in the United States. I realize that India has expanded my mind and I am not sure if it is in a good or bad way yet. Have I already normalized kids living in risky situations and hardships, or have I learned that what I define as "dangerous situations" are not how they are defined here?











We move on and Uday shows me the green water that he and his brothers used to play and swim in along with the cows. He tells me that the only thing that happened from being in the green water was some itchiness. Instead of taking the stairs, we began to climb the steep hill to the Muslim Mosque. Uday tells me that he believes that since he climbed these rocks so much as a child that this is the reason he loves to climb rocks to this day. I take my shoes off and follow this nice lady who does not speak any English into the Mosque and I am surprised by how plain it is inside especially compared to the Hindu temples I have visited. My stay inside the Mosque is short, before joining Uday for more of the tour outside.


Just as I think I am beginning to learn to expect the unexpected in India I am surprised to see a small Hindu Temple just below and on the same property of the Muslim Mosque.













We watch people bang on rocks for a living to break them into smaller pieces to sell them for building roads and foundations for houses and such. It seems like an unbelievable task to do it the old-fashion way, especially in this day of technology.


Wherever Uday and I go we like to get in touch with nature and see where the locals live and since this is Uday's home town it was fitting to get a walking tour and see the sights. My favorite part of walking around his home town was seeing the wild animals. I found the wild pigs particularly cute.











I also enjoy seeing the hens, but I know that the pigs are safe in India from being eaten but the hens will not last long. I continue to feel badly for the dogs with no homes and the cows that seem out of place.



















Although we may have passed one grocery store type place in India, for the most part from what I observed is that people go to specific stores for specific things. This also feels old-fashion to me and not very advanced. In the U.S.A. I hate grocery shopping and feel that it takes too much of my time but in India it is even less convenient. One store for chicken, one for rice and one for vegetables. Here there are three next to each other but what about all the other needs. Not a lot of people have refrigerators and the people who have them do not have ones as big as ours in the U.S.A. It appears that many people get their food fresh, cook it and eat it , and do this routine on a daily basis. Many things such as milk are delivered by foot to the home daily.


Here is a common way of transporting food from the store to home is illustrated below.


I have already seen many electrical wires much worse than this one and have shown some of them on previous blogs of the "Journal of the Real India" but this one was special since it illustrates a guy working on the wires with no safety precautions like we have in America. In fact, I think he is standing on some trash in order to reach the wires. If I haven't already said it, "India is like looking at the past and into the future all at the same time". It is ironic to see a country that still lives in many ways in a "3rd word mentality" and at the same time so technologically forward that the most advanced countries call to get technological help from India. I find myself wondering if our world looked like India in Europe during the Industrial Revolution and I wonder if places like America and other countries will look like India in the future, with over population and growing poverty. Time will tell but as for now, I appreciate the opportunity to recycle and live in a cleaner, more convenient, "equal opportunity world" outside of India. A world full of technology and luxury where we hardly see wires hanging, let alone streets decorated by them.


Time continues to go by slowly in India and the non-native (me) is getting restless. After more rest and relaxation we decide to go shopping after we come home from touring the neighborhood. Actually I beg to go shopping as I have not bought any gifts for my mom and we will be leaving tomorrow. Uday kept telling me to not buy anything until we get to Hyderabad and now that we are here he has not felt like taking me to the place to get gifts. Luckily for me Pradeep's wife Aruna, is also interested in going shopping and helped make it happen. No matter what culture one comes from, most girls want to shop!


Uttam drives into Hyderabad to a place called Charminar. It is full of Muslim women all dressed in black and street vendors as far as the eye can see down the many streets in the whole town. A hustle and bustle atmosphere quickly becomes stressful with Uday trying to bargain to get the best deal. After being here several hours and beginning to lose patience with Uday's "bargaining". He finally gives in, even though he is not completely satisfied that we are getting the best deals and I buy three purses for friends at home, a red and gold lace scarf used at marriage that I know my mom will use as a decoration for her home, two black scarfs, one bangle that Uday talks me into buying for myself since this place is most famous for their bangles and a few thinner bangles for the girls at work. We search everywhere but cannot find the small gold mirrored elephant that I got in Jaipur and accidentally washed and ruined at Uday's parents home. I also purchase this really scary looking gold mask that is suppose to be hung outside the door of your house to keep the evil spirits out and everyone things I am strange for liking it.










After feeling pretty satisfied about my purchases (all but the gold elephant) and Pradeep and Aruna feeling good about what they bought for themselves we take a few more pictures and try to get back in time to go to the nightclub. To make a long story short instead we go out for dinner and get chicken biryani for the second time in Hyderabad and this time we get it to go. We are exhausted from shopping and looking forward to having biryani from where it became famous.



It is truly awesome to see all three brothers get along so well with each other, while they are all so different from each other in personality.


June 13th

We only have until about 2pm before we will be leaving for the airport and it is captivating to see how the family is responding to saying good-bye. The family seems more emotional than they did in the beginning. It is interesting to note how I am feeling anxious to go back to the comforts of home and see my dogs yet at the same time feeling sad. I never expected to have such a good experience with Uday's family especially with our past history.


I really appreciated getting to know Uday's dad better than I thought, since in the past he told Uday he would disown him if he married me and never spoke with me on the phone. In person I could see how much love he has for his kids and the role he plays in the family as "peace-keeper". I am not sure if everything would have stayed as calm and gone as smoothly had it not been for Uday's dad.

Uday's mom and I had a very difficult past when she came to visit before our wedding and I was very afraid of the same things happening when visiting this time, but with two years of healing and making amends, Uday's mom was very nice and cooked incredible meals. Ironically, she had her own gold elephant and was nice enough to give it to me since I could not find another one to buy. "The elephant in the room that no one was talking about" as the saying goes, was transformed and the old elephant was washed away. This new elephant was a gift and not a curse and I very much appreciated the kind gesture; the amends and the gold elephant itself. I had a pink one when I was a kid that I remembered being fascinated with and somehow it got broken and I have wanted another one ever since. It is so nice to feel more like family after being married to Uday for two years, I finally feel I'm a part of his family.










In addition to missing his family, I know Uday will really miss those mangoes that he had at least one or two a day of when he was at his parents home.


Uday loved these special Indian mangoes so much that he had difficulty sharing and if no one asked, he did not offer.


Even though I did not feel Uday was nice to his dad during the Ramoji Film Studio outing, their love and caring for each other is undeniable and also very cute. I realized just how much Uday and his dad are a lot alike, during this trip.



I loved getting to know my two brother-in-laws... Pradeep, the tall one with the mustache, a truly good human being, who is sensitive, innocent and a lot of fun to go dancing with.


Uttam, Uday's younger brother and I got to spend more time together, and I enjoyed my time with him very much. Uttam is "the thinker" and taught me about how much time there is in India to be able to think. He also taught me how in "India everyone is an actor and how everyone thinks that everyone is acting". Not only is he a deep thinker and in my opinion a great actor, as well, he is more sensitive than he gives himself credit for and I appreciated him being in tune with me and trying to make me feel comfortable even when I was angry and disappointed with Uday. I felt connected to Uttam in a spiritual way and felt like I could listen and talk with him for hours. I know I will miss him and I already do. Even though I did not get to know him for long, I feel comfortable with him as if we have been friends for a long time.


Saying good-bye is hard to do, even more so after getting to know much more about you. We will meet again, we just don't know when, so for now we will keep re-living the good memories until then.

Below is a little clip of how Uday and Uttam chill at home doing their version of a tribal dance called "Theen Maar" (meaning "Three Beats"):



This is my last journal entry of "The Real India" until we visit next time. I leave India feeling like a changed person with the positive and negative experiences in me, I have grown and somehow feel more enriched. I begin my journey home with more gratitude and with more satisfaction that my life is good. As for the well-being of our world, I question this more.

June 5th "The Real India" - Jaipur, Rajasthan (the Pink City)

June 5, 2009

Everyone told us how comfortable the air-conditioned Volvo buses from Delhi to Jaipur are, but I am so uncomfortable with the the seats that I can not sleep and I am freezing. These buses are not like the luxury buses in America that I was expecting. We are suppose to be on the bus from 10pm to about 2am in the morning but after being stuck in traffic from Delhi to Jaipur we arrive at the Jaipur bus station around 8am. Exhausted with heavy eyes I can't help but keep them open as I continue to be amazed as the sun comes up with the sights of India in this new region.





















I am so happy when we arrive at the city I have been waiting for this whole trip. Ahhh... Jaipur, Rajasthan, the city of the Kings with the curly "monopoly guy" mustaches... "The pink City"!





The owner of the Krishna Palace, named Vinod Kumar, (same last name as Uday) picks us up and drives us to his palace. I am disappointed that as soon as we get to our guest house called Krishna Palace, that I need to take a nap as I am truely exhausted.


Uday continues his theme of wanting us to save money so we take the least expensive room. I don't mind much here because it is clean, the bed is comfortable and I know we do not have time to spend in our room anyways. I still sleep without blankets on this bed as well as all of the beds in India so far, just in case they are not clean. Below are pictures of our room at the Krishna Palace in Jaipur.















Even though our room is not much to look at I am pleasantly surprised that the outside looks like a small palace. After about a 4 hour nap and a shower we take some pictures at the palace before touring the city.

















Vinod, the palace owner, suggests that we hire a driver for the day to take us around the city in order to save time and see as much as possible. I am feeling skeptical as we finally got rid of our last driver, but I trust Vinod, and Uday, and I don't have a better suggestion to explore this city. We could take an "Auto" but it is very hot outside and we want to go to dinner later and it is too far of a drive to take the Auto so we take him up on it. Our driver's name is Majeed and he is pretty quiet.

With high hopes, I am surprised that the land of the Maharajah's (Great Kings) is so full of trash. Majeed shows us where there was a bomb blast 4 years ago and sadly, I can not tell the difference between the bomb blast area and the rest of the city since the two areas look the same. There are so many buildings crumbling and dirty. Even though the buildings are old and authentic looking, there is so much trash everywhere that the city's appearance is disappointing to me and Uday. We have seen many places in India so far that were full of trash and over crowded with people and this place is no different. It is a hot day and we watch a lot of children completely naked bathing and having fun in the fountain in the middle of the city. There are camels pulling carts, and people busy with the hustle and bustle of the day.


We see Hawa Mahal (Air Palace)


City Palace...

is where we go first, it is pretty, but only a few rooms are open to the public.































When we are outside of The City Palace we continue to see what we have already been seeing in the places we have visited in India such as straight men holding hands and poor doggy's' trying to stay cool.




On the way to our next tourist spot in Jaipur, around the corner from The City Palace we see a snake charmer and take a picture of him. He becomes annoyed that we didn't give him a tip and he is yelling at us but finally gives up. Below is the picture I took of him before he got mad!



We also visit... Jantar Mantar (Magic "Wagic")/Calculation Instrument - The largest stone astronomical observatory in the world.


















Below is picture of a worker here but I think it looks like part of the art and beauty of this place.


Upon leaving this area to head to the Amber Fort we meet an Indian women who comes to our car with her naked infant with an Ethiopian belly. She has him raised up in her arms out in the hot sun to beg us for money. It is so difficult to see this mother with her starving baby that I am too shocked to think about taking a picture as it looks like her baby is dying. I feel so helpless and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react or who to be angry at. Uday and I wonder what her real story is: Is anyone exploiting her? Is giving her money making the problem worse or better? Exploitation of kids is especially disgusting and wrong! We feel bad, we don't know her story but we do not give her money in case she would still choose not to mother her baby properly with the money if she had it. Uday asks her why she does not get a job, but she does not answer. We feel suspicious and shocked by the sight of it. Uday and I feel really bad and as Majeed drives off, I kind of wish we gave her money just in case it would have helped. We continue to move forward on our trip and see more interesting sights for better or for worse.

I'm realizing that everyone expects money here in Jaipur, when I take a picture of them. I take a picture of this camel and it's owner and they too ask for money but I tell them I have no money and also say, "It is just a picture!", as I run back to the car were Uday and our driver are waiting for me.












I also take a picture of this palace and no one can ask me for money for this picture however there are still many beggars in this area following me around, so I quickly take the picture and leave. I feel better that Uday is with me this time. Majeed told us that this palace was built on the water and that they grew trees on the top of the building to keep it cool for the royalty to be comfortable when they were there.

Jal Mahal (Water Palace)


and now we go to the infamous Amber Fort, a well known tourist spot that I have been waiting for...

Amber Fort






Uday and I can't seem to drink enough water and when we get it, it is just a little cool and quickly it becomes hot, but we drink it anyway out of neccessity. When we first enter the Amber fort we see a lot of women workers as they are hitting a stick on wet concrete in their saris.



Here is a another picture of a woman who sweeps there and she is taking a break. All of the brooms in India look like this...very natural.



At the grand entrance of the inner section of the Amber Fort we take pictures for families with their camera as well as with ours (upon their request), and someone takes a picture of us.





I drink a large sip of the hot water we have to try and stay hydrated and want to throw up when I realize that I drank someone elses water bottle by accident. I am so grossed out but it is too late and we move on after getting a new bottle of cooler water.

There are so many beautiful photo opportunities with the unique architecture, people, elephant rides, and elephants with decorated faces, and much more, that I don't waste the opportunity. Below are only a few examples.

















Below is a picture of where they used to make curry for the Kings and Queens and all of their guest and large parties. The large looking bowls are extremely large cooking pans.



Most people are taking pictures of each other and the building structures here but I continue to be side-tracked by the people of India. I love how the women in India seem to match each other exactly (or at least be coordinated and go with each other) in many places we go and I can't resist taking more photos.















Here is a picture of Uday being funny at one of the fort doors leading to a basement, he too is irresistible!



The Amber Fort is famous for it's Elephant ride up to the fort. Uday says he could pass it but I can't and we go all the way back down the long pathway to get a ride on the elephant back up to the main part of the fort. I want to have this experience to travel the same pathway and the same mode of transportation as royalty did in the past. Who wouldn't want to treat themselves to feeling like royalty for a very inexpensive cost.





Uday is busy talking to people who are trying to get us to buy pictures of us even though we already paid someone else a few cents to take pictures of us with our own camera. There are also boys trying to get money to allow us to wear their traditional "turbans". Uday give into paying a little bit for us to wear their turbans for a few pictures.



Towards the end of our ride this kid plays this string instrument for us and it is really nice to be serenaded while on our royal elephant ride.




When we leave the Amber Fort and on the way back to the car the kid who was trying to get us to pay for the pictures he took of us on the elephant, finally gave up and just gave us the pictures making a remark that Uday is too cheap to buy them. So we get to have our elephant ride and keep two nice pictures by this kid as well as the pictures from our own camera. Many people are begging us to buy something from them the whole way back to our car and the more Uday talks with them the more they beg. I feel bad for them yet it is very annoying.

We finally reach our car and we take in more scenes of India on our way to our dinner at a place called "Choki Dhani". Here are a couple pictures on the way.




We stop at some shops on the way and don't buy anything before reaching Choki Dhani to have our ethnic Rajastani Dinner. This place is for tourist but the locals are hired for everything that is done here. The pictures speak for themselves at this place.



Greeted by snake charmers and this young girl who puts this red Bindi on our forehead with rice before entering the village.

















We pay and chose at the beginning if we want the typical Indian dinner or the typical Rajasthan dinner. Uday and I chose the Rajasthan dinner to see what it is like and what our friend Rahul was talking about when he said the curry was good and more full of "ummm...butttterrr!"

We decide to walk around before eating and it is so hot I also decide to change my clothes to a dress. I also feel that I am dressed to casual the way that I am. Below are just a few pictures of what we saw walking around before dinner.





Here are dancing girls and local Indian tourist watching them perform.



Indian Ox and cart rides as well as camel and elephant rides being given for a very inexpensive cost.



Even with the change of clothes I am still extremely hot and not hungry but we don't want to miss dinner and decide to go in to have our traditional Rajathani dinner.















It was fun sitting on the floor eating on one of their traditional tables and wearing their traditional "turban" for a while. They keep serving one thing at a time before we can finish what they last served and I keep wondering when they will stop giving us food. I remembered Rahul and Alok telling us that when Rajasthani people have you for dinner they keep feeding you and want to ensure that you are truly satisfied (and stuffed!).

We make friends with some people we are sitting with and I take a picture of the Henna she just got done on her hand "Rajathani style". I also take a picture of our friendly waiter.











Uday eats everything on his plate and more than half of mine since I am too full and I don't want to be rude. I have to admit that the food was too rich for me, and not my favorite but nevertheless, well worth this unique experience. Uday obviously really liked the food.



The rest of the night we took in the sights of the performances...














The People...















The experiences... (the Hukka)





and the famous camels and camel ride...



















Overall, we saw a lot of what Jaipur has to offer but Choki Dhani is a must see, which left nothing to be desired. Choki Dhani was just as I dreamed Jaipur would be and much more. I can't believe we covered so much in one day, but I am glad we made the trip even for one day to see these exotic sights, we will sleep well tonight.

And I love this picture of Uday and these guys with the camel. Check out the "Monopoly Guy" mustaches.

Click on this picture below to see all of our pictures of Rajasthan: