I thought long and hard before I wrote this blog but decided to write it being aware of a few things up front:
1. The main reason why people say and do mean things is for attention.
2. The second reason is a toss up between insecurity and jealousy.
Even though I may be giving into, at the very least, the number one reason why people say mean things, I find that it is sometimes helpful to "kill-em with kindness". Thus if it is attention this person wants, it is attention this person will get, because I believe it is for the greater good.
Recently I received a comment on my Bahama's Blog that I did not publish that said the following:
Hey Uday, the chick in your pics looks fat, you look cool though... Cheers man!
This comment was disturbing on many levels and it seemed obvious to me that this person was too cowardly to write their name and instead left it Anonymously. This illustrates the obvious, that Mr. Anonymous knew that he was being mean and he did not want to publish his name for the world to see the kind of person he really is.
I also found it interesting that it is clear throughout my blog that Uday and I are married and that Mr. Anonymous called me a "Chick" instead of "your wife". Perhaps he felt like saying "your wife in your pics looks fat" as too disrespectful (like a "your mamma joke") so he made me seem less personal to Uday as just a "chick". When all is said and done I am not sure if calling me a "chick" instead of "wife" shows more consciousness or less?
The other thought I had for a brief moment was, maybe he thinks that Uday is with someone else in the picture and this "chick" is not his wife, but if this was the case that Uday was with some random stranger in a picture than why would he care to comment in the first place? Then I came to my senses and left my innocence behind and came to the realization that Mr. Anonymous is really being mean...but why?
Why would this poser, (acting like he's cool with Uday) want to hurt my feelings and hurt Uday's?
Does it go back to his own insecurity about his life, or jealousy about our life, as he may not have all that we do? Or is it just the way our society is now?
I have struggled with my weight all of my life and I know better than anyone when I am gaining weight. I know that I look better when I am thinner and I know how much work it is to lose weight and keep it off as I have done it before. I have all of my excuses for gaining weight recently such emotional eating from stress at work, traveling to exotic places and eating their food, spending more time blogging than exercising, and thinking that I am pregnant every month to finding out that I am not. I know that these excuses are not good enough but isn't that my business and my bones to bare (no pun intended)! Last I checked my blog was not about being a beauty pageant winner or a playmate so how is his comment relevant in the first place?
I guess, I am sounding defensive but I have trouble with the pressure our society puts on weight, age and wrinkles (for women especially). I know our World is shallow but why does someone like Oprah have to feel embarrassed about gaining weight?
Oprah writes in her own magazine in Jan 2009, I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, "How did I let this happen again?"
As much as eating healthy and exercising is important and usually makes one feel better, I'm here to tell Oprah, other celebrities, and people like myself who struggle with weight and mean people too, "There are more important things in life to concentrate on other than starving yourself and exercising your brains out!" Yes, there is a time and place for eating healthy and exercising, and yes I need to do more, consistently, but when is society going to concentrate on more important issues! Life is so short! If mean people could take that energy and help the homeless and starving children and animals around the world, not only would this be a better place but people like Mr. Anonymous would feel better about themselves. Oprah could concentrate on helping others, which in my opinion is what she does best, instead of spending all of her time controlling her portions and wasting the whole day at the gym to look good on her magazine cover. Imagine all of what people like Oprah could do if they set their mind to it if they were not in the gym 7 days a week? Imagine what the extreme skinny celebrities could do if they were not snorting cocaine 7 days a week to stay so thin?
When you Google Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Love Hewitt, weight gain comes up by their name. Why does this make headline news, because mean people suck and it goes back to the number one reason, attention and jealousy!
As much as celebrity's and non-famous people like me would like to say that they don't care what other people think, it is human nature to get hurt and in general it is not nice, and poor Karma to say negative comments about others especially in writing.
Hoping that "mean people" learn something from this blog, "Cheers"!
1. The main reason why people say and do mean things is for attention.
2. The second reason is a toss up between insecurity and jealousy.
Even though I may be giving into, at the very least, the number one reason why people say mean things, I find that it is sometimes helpful to "kill-em with kindness". Thus if it is attention this person wants, it is attention this person will get, because I believe it is for the greater good.
Recently I received a comment on my Bahama's Blog that I did not publish that said the following:
Hey Uday, the chick in your pics looks fat, you look cool though... Cheers man!
This comment was disturbing on many levels and it seemed obvious to me that this person was too cowardly to write their name and instead left it Anonymously. This illustrates the obvious, that Mr. Anonymous knew that he was being mean and he did not want to publish his name for the world to see the kind of person he really is.
I also found it interesting that it is clear throughout my blog that Uday and I are married and that Mr. Anonymous called me a "Chick" instead of "your wife". Perhaps he felt like saying "your wife in your pics looks fat" as too disrespectful (like a "your mamma joke") so he made me seem less personal to Uday as just a "chick". When all is said and done I am not sure if calling me a "chick" instead of "wife" shows more consciousness or less?
The other thought I had for a brief moment was, maybe he thinks that Uday is with someone else in the picture and this "chick" is not his wife, but if this was the case that Uday was with some random stranger in a picture than why would he care to comment in the first place? Then I came to my senses and left my innocence behind and came to the realization that Mr. Anonymous is really being mean...but why?
Why would this poser, (acting like he's cool with Uday) want to hurt my feelings and hurt Uday's?
Does it go back to his own insecurity about his life, or jealousy about our life, as he may not have all that we do? Or is it just the way our society is now?
I have struggled with my weight all of my life and I know better than anyone when I am gaining weight. I know that I look better when I am thinner and I know how much work it is to lose weight and keep it off as I have done it before. I have all of my excuses for gaining weight recently such emotional eating from stress at work, traveling to exotic places and eating their food, spending more time blogging than exercising, and thinking that I am pregnant every month to finding out that I am not. I know that these excuses are not good enough but isn't that my business and my bones to bare (no pun intended)! Last I checked my blog was not about being a beauty pageant winner or a playmate so how is his comment relevant in the first place?
I guess, I am sounding defensive but I have trouble with the pressure our society puts on weight, age and wrinkles (for women especially). I know our World is shallow but why does someone like Oprah have to feel embarrassed about gaining weight?
Oprah writes in her own magazine in Jan 2009, I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, "How did I let this happen again?"
As much as eating healthy and exercising is important and usually makes one feel better, I'm here to tell Oprah, other celebrities, and people like myself who struggle with weight and mean people too, "There are more important things in life to concentrate on other than starving yourself and exercising your brains out!" Yes, there is a time and place for eating healthy and exercising, and yes I need to do more, consistently, but when is society going to concentrate on more important issues! Life is so short! If mean people could take that energy and help the homeless and starving children and animals around the world, not only would this be a better place but people like Mr. Anonymous would feel better about themselves. Oprah could concentrate on helping others, which in my opinion is what she does best, instead of spending all of her time controlling her portions and wasting the whole day at the gym to look good on her magazine cover. Imagine all of what people like Oprah could do if they set their mind to it if they were not in the gym 7 days a week? Imagine what the extreme skinny celebrities could do if they were not snorting cocaine 7 days a week to stay so thin?
When you Google Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Love Hewitt, weight gain comes up by their name. Why does this make headline news, because mean people suck and it goes back to the number one reason, attention and jealousy!
As much as celebrity's and non-famous people like me would like to say that they don't care what other people think, it is human nature to get hurt and in general it is not nice, and poor Karma to say negative comments about others especially in writing.
Hoping that "mean people" learn something from this blog, "Cheers"!
