Friday, December 21, 2007

Here's One For the Boys! Would you sink or swim in a public restroom?

I decided to write a blog on a personal sexual issue, as I thought it might be helpful for the males who view this blog, and the women who love them. Recently, Uday (my husband) and I were discussing when we may want to start planning parenthood. Since nothing that I do is simple or easy, I decided that in order to make an educated decision, it would be best to know where we stand. So I decided that it would be best for Uday to have his sperm count tested! Uday, being the cooperative husband that he is, after only a little bit of procrastination, found a place and agreed to go. We had heard that some men who had the mumps when they were a kid have problems with fertility. Since Uday is from India (and was not sure if he had the mumps or not as a kid) we (mostly "me") thought it would be best to find out where Uday's fertility was. For the bargain price of $100 he could get it tested at a Medical Center.

It so happened, that the topic of "sperm testing" was on the radio station that I enjoy listening to in the morning here in West Palm Beach called Wild 95.5. One morning they discussed how a man on the show, who had fertility problems, had his wife make him go to get tested. Another guy on the show went along with him for the experience as well. They were shown to their own individual private rooms where there was a couch, T.V., adult video's and adult magazines. I think they may have had a choice of videos but I'm not sure. Although they were both grossed out by the thought of all the men who had been in there doing the same thing before them, it sounded like it was not such a bad experience after all.

Anyway, I told Uday about this and tried to make light of it stating, "this will be the best doctor's visit you will ever have!" The Medical Center at first told Uday that he could do his business at home as long as he drove to the Medical Center with the specimen in between his legs (in order to maintain body temperature) and brought it to them within an hour. They also told him to maintain abstinence from sexual intercourse, masturbation or any form of ejaculation for 2 to 7 days. If any of these conditions were not met, then the specimen would not be valid when tested. Uday decided that he would rather not take the risk of driving to the Medical Center with the specimen, since our home was a good 40min drive away. He decided to "just do it" at the Medical Center after a couple of days of practicing abstinence.

For support, I went with him on a Saturday but had to come back home because we forgot the prescription that he needed from his doctor in order for the lab to perform the test. After practicing abstinence again, the next time Uday went by himself on a weekday when I was working, and he felt fine about going before work.

When Uday got there he was extremely surprised when the nurse showed him a public restroom where people were going in and out, and asked him to go into one of the bathroom stalls to get his "sample". There my poor husband sat on the toilet and pondered... there were no adult video's or magazines... no comfortable couch... and worse of all no privacy!!

Much to his dismay, he quickly did what he needed to do to get a sample in the container. I'm reminded of the movie, "Something about Mary"... Ladies, you really have to appreciate what men do for love!

When Uday turned the sample in he told the nurse that it was really difficult (notice I did not say, "hard") to concentrate in there with people coming in and out (no pun intended) of the bathroom. Uday confirmed that they had no private room for people to do this test. Uday was also concerned that it was not his best work, and because of this he thought it would not be an accurate sample. Fortunately, Uday does not take himself too seriously, and joked with the nurse that this was his wife's Christmas Gift! We have since got the results that showed everything was normal and Uday confirmed that this really was my Christmas gift!

I wanted to point out the difference in experience Uday had with his sperm test, compared to the guys on the radio station who obviously went to a different facility. I want to warn men that if they ever need to get this type of test done, they may want to do their research first!

It also got me thinking, what do men think about this? Could you do the same as Uday? If you were in a public restroom with people coming in and out, would you sink or swim?

After speaking to a co-worker about this situation who brought up the question "if this is even an ethical practice for a Medical Center"? I'm curious if Uday and the men who have had the same experience as him (as well as the men who read this blog), may think differently the next time they sit on a toilet in a public restroom in a Medical Center or Hospital.

Uday and I haven't decided when we may try having a kid, but we are looking forward to working at it! ;)


Anonymous said...

Strange, very strange blog post. When I was younger, I'd done it in the restroom at work - but that wasn't for a sample for testing...

Anonymous said...

If it weren't in a medical center with a fertility clinic nearby, I'd say you could get arrested for "lewd and lacivious behavior in a public restroom."

sm413 said...

In the same situation as Uday - I would not have done it. Not sure I could have. It seems like there would be a lot of "pressure to perform" here.

Also all the other guys wondering around is not cool at all. This activity has a fairly distinct sound to it and the the men's room can be a quite place as often the people in there do not chat.

You got yourself a good one there I guess.


Is this not in fact what George Micheal got arrested for?